I think today was the first day I felt defeat, but I have this way of brushing it off my shoulders.
Today, was a tad different. I have been running around, trying to catch my tail for the last three months: at work, at home, with Goose, with my husband, with me.
Yesterday, I got to work and took stuff out of my file cabinet to work on, thinking about my nice, beautiful long list of all the things I needed to get done at work by the end of the week.... Beep, beep (the best intercom noise I can make) "I need an override..." or "Can you help me?" or "How do you do this?"...
The other scenario was: I took stuff out of my file cabinet to work on, and some one walks in and says oh I need to talk to her... Pointing at me...
The files I just took out was slowly being put back into my file cabinet and locked (needs to be locked up every time I leave my desk or if I have a client there...).
This is all I accomplished yesterday - OH and telling one of my employees to QUIT telling me I was stressed! I didn't feel stress, I felt EXTREMELY annoyed that all I was accomplishing was unlocking my drawers, taking files out, putting the files back in and then locking my door!
Yesterday, was a day I wished so hard I had a door, could close it and get everything done productively!
Today...
I felt like someone didn't think I was doing a good job, from my understanding even complained!!! I could NOT believe it! I come to work early I leave at the same time everyone else does. I chase my tail all day, go home, think of a plan for the next day, wake up re-energized, and chase my tail again. All at the same time doing this at home too!!
DEFEAT!
I do a good job, my employers would not have done what they have done for me this last year, if I didn't do a good job. Yes, I may not get my entire list done, but that is what tomorrow is for!
But this is the reason I brush it off and start over again:
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| I love you my boys! |