Defeat

I think today was the first day I felt defeat, but I have this way of brushing it off my shoulders.

Today, was a tad different.  I have been running around, trying to catch my tail for the last three months: at work, at home, with Goose, with my husband, with me.

Yesterday, I got to work and took stuff out of my file cabinet to work on, thinking about my nice, beautiful long list of all the things I needed to get done at work by the end of the week....  Beep, beep (the best intercom noise I can make) "I need an override..." or "Can you help me?" or "How do you do this?"...

The other scenario was:  I took stuff out of my file cabinet to work on, and some one walks in and says oh I need to talk to her... Pointing at me...

The files I just took out was slowly being put back into my file cabinet  and locked (needs to be locked up every time I leave my desk or if I have a client there...).

This is all I accomplished yesterday - OH and telling one of my employees to QUIT telling me I was stressed!  I didn't feel stress, I felt EXTREMELY annoyed that all I was accomplishing was unlocking my drawers, taking files out, putting the files back in and then locking my door! 

Yesterday, was a day I wished so hard I had a door, could close it and get everything done productively!

Today...

I felt like someone didn't think I was doing a good job, from my understanding even complained!!!  I could NOT believe it!  I come to work early I leave at the same time everyone else does.  I chase my tail all day, go home, think of a plan for the next day, wake up re-energized, and chase my tail again.  All at the same time doing this at home too!!

DEFEAT!

I do a good job, my employers would not have done what they have done for me this last year, if I didn't do a good job.  Yes, I may not get my entire list done, but that is what tomorrow is for!

But this is the reason I brush it off and start over again:

I love you my boys!